I Love Lucy?

Over 5 years ago, my friend told me about this new thing called 'facebook.' I don't remember what she said, but I wasn't interested at first. In general I don't tend to do things that a lot of people do. I think this is true, but I could have a warped perception of my life. I don't really use my cell phone except to text with Dan when he's away, save myself when the car battery dies and make plans. I can't use the internet on my phone. I like the idea of an Ipad but I'm not convinced that I'd use it for all it's worth. I can't imagine using Twitter. We don't have cable. So I can't remember why I decided to join facebook, but apparently it got out of hand. It's now been about a week and a half since the big sacrifice and here's what I've noticed so far:

• I don't know the email addresses or phone numbers of my closest friends.
  
• One of the first things I wonder in the morning is what has happened on facebook since yesterday.
  
• My most frequent thoughts during the day are about checking facebook.
  
• I'm very aware of how much free time I have in my day.
  
• I almost dread going home after work because I'm alone and I don't always have plans to be with people.
  
• When I'm with people, I feel deeply grateful for their presence and very aware of my community of friends.
  
• I think more about writing, and I write more.
  
• I've done more housework.
  
• I remember things that have happened in my life and I wish that I could see my extended family more.
  
• I read more.
  
• I have more questions about God and faith and I'm not too busy to ask them.
  
• I realize how much I love being around Dan, even when we're not talking.
  
• I listen to music more (right now Paul McCartney is singing about Joner in the whale and Noer in the ark.)
  

I found this quote somewhere a few days ago. I love Frederick Buechner. I've been thinking a lot lately about why I believe what I believe. I think about it because I know people who don't believe it, I know people who believe it but don't live it, and I know people who live it. Anyway, I'm not a scholar and the only time I can articulate the reasons why I follow Jesus is when I`m at home thinking about things for myself. But a major reason that I`ve been thinking about what I believe is because I get really annoyed when I read about certain groups of people saying that Christians have no reasoning skills or that we make up God to make ourselves feel better or that we blindly believe everything we hear. I feel offended by this even if it`s never meant to be an attack on a specific person. Obviously I don`t think it`s true for me, so if it`s not true for me then it`s not a characteristic of being a Christian. The point being that I doubt a lot and I ask a lot of questions and I don`t really expect to ever have an air-tight fool-proof case for why I believe what I believe. So for my journey I think it`s more important that I have good reasons for believing what I believe, reasons that make sense based on my experience of life and what I discover when I ask questions. I think I`ll start collecting the reasons why I believe, although the background material for some have already been forgotten or lost.

"If you tell me Christian commitment is a kind of thing that has happened to you once and for all like some kind of spiritual plastic surgery, I say you're either pulling the wool over your own eyes or trying to pull it over mine. Every morning you should wake up in your bed and ask yourself: "Can I believe it all again today?" No, better still, don't ask it till after you've read The New York Times, till after you've studied that daily record of the world's brokenness and corruption, which should always stand side by side with your Bible. Then ask yourself if you can believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ again for that particular day. If your answer's always Yes, then you probably don't know what believing means. At least five times out of ten the answer should be No because the No is as important as the Yes, maybe more so. The No is what proves you're human in case you should ever doubt it. And then if some morning the answer happens to be really Yes, it should be a Yes that's choked with confession and tears and. . . great laughter."

Every night before bed I watch at least one episode of I Love Lucy. I`m nearing the end of the show now for the 5th time or so and I have to say that it`s really starting to bother me. The major reason is because in the earlier episodes, Lucy does some really hilarious things that make me laugh out loud; in the last shows, especially when they started doing one hour shows with more celebrities, the show is summed up by Lucy wanting to do something crazy, Ricky saying no, and Lucy whining, crying or threatening Ricky until she gets her way. Lucy always wants to spend money and Ricky can`t afford it. Blah blah blah. Most of the funny situations have been replaced with a weird marital tension and parent-child dynamic. I`m probably more sensitive to this because I know that at the time their marriage was on the verge of breaking up and they weren`t able to hide it completely. I`ve also noticed that for a show made in the 50s, they only once or twice say the word `prayer` and they are not shy about making jokes about separation and divorce. Still, I am attached to the heart of the show for its chemistry and creativity. I just have to make sure not to watch it if I'm irritable or exhausted.

This is a blog that my cousin posted about orphans in our country http:/thelogo.blogspot.com/2012/03/children-are-waiting.html. Are we hypocrites? Dan and I both sponsor children but it suddenly doesn't feel like enough.

(John Denver is singing Sunshine on my Shoulders)